Tuesday, 15 May 2012

It Never Rains; Instead It Shitstorms you

Howdy wordseekers. I have been a bit quiet on the ol' bloggery for a bit, and even my tweeting has taken a dive. All because I go and get "grown-up" and find myself with far more responsibilities and things to do then is wise for someone with as short an attention span as me. Ooh, look something shiny outside... Sorry. Where was I? Oh yeah, being a "grown-up" and doing everything at once.

I'm planning my 30th birthday at the moment, which may have deeply psychologically scarred me enough to take on more adult responsibilities. I'm aiming to do a screening of one of my favourite films (nope, you don't get to know which one - it's going to be a surprise for all my friends. Mwa ha ha ha!) Choosing a film alone was a hard task, but I managed that one little decision eventually. I'm now deep in chasing mode with the screening room in London, and fingers crossed will have it done and dealt with by the end of Thursday. Please, powers that be, let it be done by then...

For some bizarre and universe-laughing-at-me reason one of my dearest friends has also asked me to arrange her hen do. And amazingly I have largely got it all done. I have no idea how; my planning method normally involves just hurtling into places to see them, getting drunk and then forgetting why I'd gone there in the first place. But thanks to help from friends I should have that cat in the bag. All tied up with a bow on its little angry face.

Finally, and most importantly, I have decided I no longer want to rent. It's expensive and pointless. Oh, and the whole having to deal with estate agents when I don't own a place lost it's fun factor in about 30 seconds. This has introduced me to the world of buying, and all the mumbo-jumbo words it entails. Tracker rate. Fixed rate. Conveyance. Disbursements. Equity. It's like someone sat down and thought "how can we make this whole process as inaccessible as possible, so that only the most determined or crazy (or both) will go through with it?" Apparently I am crazy enough; I have an appointment Wednesday to get a mortgage "agreed in principle", and immediately after I have two places to look at. I haven't even got to the dancing round the mulberry bush bit of putting an offer in... I'm not thinking about how much money it's all going to cost me in the end. My head would explode and all the itty bits would stick to the walls. And that would definitely get me fired if it happens at work. Oh, and you know; exploded brain and all.

Anyone reading this yet to experience the joys of adulthood above; it will happen to you. One day. When you least expect it. You have been warned. And those that have done all this and more? Where did you hide the valium? I needs it...


  1. Yes ... renting is merely giving money to someone for nothing. Although the Americans tend to disagree. An important note though; a rented house will survive all manner of natural and unnatural disasters ... the second you purchase a house, the next butterfly to flap its wings in China will cause damage of 1000s to your new "weight around your neck until you be dead". It's a universal fact.

    At least your chances of being mis-sold an endowment mortgage are quite slim :) I got me one of them. Do avoid.