How a wellbeing weekend inspired me

You may have noticed that this place has been a tad quiet for a while. Instead I've been focusing on the day job and enjoying life. But mostly it's been because I decided to stop stressing myself out with trying to do things I thought I should be doing when I didn't really want to. The result has been more writing just for me, experimenting and playing with form and story. Recent world events however have pushed me to want to start blogging again in a meaningful way but not so it feels like a burden. I wasn't really sure how to do that but this past weekend I think I got my answer when I took part in a wellbeing weekend.

What is a wellbeing weekend? In this case it is a friend's idea that she wanted to test run. I won't go into too much detail as she is still in the process of building it up as a business but it involves using creative activities to express yourself and to consider your own "wellbeing". I've been doing mindfulness activities for a while so it wasn't entirely unknown but it did bring home to me that I have been neglecting the creative expression in my life by not publishing anything for so long. It's all well and good creating things for yourself, but if you never share them then they remain nothing more than an idea. If someone has a genius thought that could change the world is it really so genius if no one knows about it?

I've decided to return to my blogging but in a more constructive and conscious way. Rather than just write about things as they happen I'm creating a "content plan", so I can think about the things I want to write about and prep them in advance. I currently have about eight posts lurking in the depths of Blogger that I never published in the end - all were sudden ideas, without a plan and just didn't feel right for this place. So the other step I'm taking is separating my political/current affairs writing out from this blog and into my Medium space. That way I can keep this area to just writing, books, personal and productivity related posts and my fiery feelings about the world can be filtered into a more journalistic area. Expect a lot of cross over in my stories though...

If you have an opportunity to go to a type of wellbeing weekend I highly recommend it. Sure, you may be uncomfortable with group activities (I know I am) but that in itself is a good thing to overcome and challenge. You will likely learn things about yourself you didn't know in the process and most importantly will get to meet a bunch of great people, with their own inspiring stories to tell. What more could any would-be-writer ask for?

Book review: The Last Days of Jack Sparks

The Last Days of Jack Sparks
Jason Arnopp
2016
Kindle edition, 2016

You know what I haven't read for a long time? A straight up, no holds barred horror story. No future set dystopia, no spookiness in space; just a real-world frightfest. I'm pleased to say that Jason Arnopp's latest, The Last Days of Jack Sparks, fits that bill. Weird, gore-filled and creepy throughout, if you're a fan of supernatural tales of hauntings and possessions this is well worth a read.

Set up as a book within a book, readers first meet Jack Sparks' brother. This first person introduction sets the scene; Jack Sparks was writing a book about the supernatural. Something terrible happened. What follows are the gathered writings of Mr. Sparks, with a few extra notes provided via emails, audio and video files. This opening reflects a trend through the body of this book; hint at whats to come via a narrator who is writing after the event. Tied in with this is the problem of unreliable voices, as everyone we hear from thoughout the story has their own agenda.

Before long we're in the head of Jack Sparks himself as he embarks on a mission to prove that the supernatural doesn't exist. Imagine if Richard Dawkins, Piers Morgan and Christopher Hitchens were combined into one, with a dash of Krishnan Guru-Murphy. Yes, that bad. Sparks is full of himself, entitled, selfish and unbending. But he is funny. Inevitably his dealings with the supernatural get all too real but Sparks isn't for believing any of it. Or maybe, just maybe, he's right and it's all a big hoax. Though the author gives a pretty strong indication which way it actually went, even to the end there is a lingering question mark.

Speaking of the supernatural, one massive positive is how genuinely spooky this story is. The scenes where the metaphysical shit hits the fan are not just great fun but genuinely creep-inducing. Not The Shining level of scares, but definitely enough to make your skin crawl and turn the light on before you go into a dark room. Arnopp isn't a subtle build kind of guy in the way King is but he doesn't need to be; this is a larger than life modern morality tale, with more in common with The Ring and The Evil Dead than with Aesop's fables.

My only real gripe is the main character. He's intensely dis-likable but just when I was getting sick of his bullshit he'd pull me back in with a funny or inappropriate comment. And that's kind of the point; Jack Sparks is no hero. He is not someone you'd want to have in your life. But he is compelling. And that is probably the most intriguing thing going on here. Even the most vile human being can solicit feelings of sympathy, given the right (or wrong) situation.

With plenty of contemporary references, The Last Days of Jack Sparks, is a thrilling ride from start to end. How often do you get to read something that's actually fun, that makes you smile and makes you shiver? If you too are looking around for a new horror story to try then this one is definitely worth a go.

Still trucking on

Once again life has been getting ahead of me. My plans to write and exercise more have not exactly gone to plan. But I find focusing on the plus side of things is better than dwelling on the bad, so a quick update on the last month or so:

• I had a wonderful holiday in Tenerife; ten days and nights of sun, good food and good drink.
• I've read some great books lately, including the final Discworld novel Terry Pratchett ever wrote. *sob*
• I'm now working out four days in a row, with three days off between. Definitely getting stronger!
• My writing has been slow but I've finished a couple of drafts of a time travel story. Still not sure if it's any good or not, but it continues to be a work in progress.
• I've been getting practise in setting up a website from scratch with Wordpress.
• I have begun to tentatively write up ideas and details of a novel that has been rumbling around in my head for over a year.

Despite feeling like I'm not achieving much I've actually been doing a lot of things. It's funny how, until you write down what you've been doing, life can feel like it's slipping by. There's probably some kernel of wisdom there. One thing I haven't been keeping up with is my Passion Planner, which was always useful in keeping me grounded and directed. I'm going to make an effort to get used to updating it again, as the weekly look backs are really useful in seeing where you've not made the best use of your time as well as what your achievements were.

I'm still hopeful I can get a story or two published this year, if I keep plugging away at the words. At the very least I hope to get a previously published short released on Kindle by 2017 and a novel largely plotted out. Of course my day job may have other ideas...

Watch this space!

All Hail Macbeth

In an effort to escape the never ending fustercluck that is British politics, I finally got round to watching Macbeth (2015) this weekend, starring Michael Fassbender and Marion Cotillard. First off I have to say it astounded me; beautiful, atmospheric and experimental, it's everything I want from Shakespeare. The performances were wonderful and it was great hearing the bard's words in not-too-shabby Scottish accents (Cotillard wisely chose to not try too hard). But it did not take me away from the dire situation my country has put itself in. Rather, it only amplified it.

Macbeth is predominantly about what unfettered ambition will do to a person. It explores how an honourable man can be twisted to commit terrible deeds by the words of others. It also shows the cost of greed to those caught in its wake. Like so many Shakespeare stories, it's about the human condition. At no point are we given clean answers on whether people are inherently good and become corrupted, or whether humanity is far more evil than it is good. All of this seems particularly apt at this moment in time.

In the last few months, and particularly the last few weeks, the UK has revealed the depths of people's ambitions and how they allow that to blind them to reality or consequence. For those arguing for Remain there was a complacency and arrogance, unwilling to look hard into the issues being raised by those in long-abandoned areas of England and Wales. On the Leave side we saw half-truths and outright lies become a major part of their campaign, with little to no thought of what all the consequences could be. In the last few weeks we've seen Labour tear itself apart, with short-sighted MPs on one side and an intransigent leader on the other. The Conservatives have at least managed to sort out their leadership contest in record time but have done so in a way that will force many Conservative party members to reconsider their allegiances. For all the claims that we're leaving the EU to get away from an undemocratic system, it's impossible to ignore that we will have a Prime Minister unelected by either the party or the public.

Fiction often gives a better lens through which to examine these things. I'll be seeing Macbeth again at the end of August, live at the Globe Theatre, and look forward to seeing how current events once again slot into its framework. In the play no one really wins - the price paid is too steep to ever make it feel like a victory. It's a strange sort of comfort to know that things don't change that much, even over centuries. They worked it out, one way or another, and so shall we. 

Day One of a New Reality

The train, normally filled with chattering commuters, was practically silent. All heads bowed in abjection, smart phone screens a glow. Fingers swipe in search of answers but only find more questions. Today is the day the United Kingdom left Europe.

Except it isn't. Yet. We're still in the EU and will be until someone decides to issue Article 50 and begin the two year process for extracting the UK from the EU, after 43 years inside it. My personal feelings are best summed up in one word: devastated. I woke up this morning in a country that I had previously suspected was becoming increasingly ignorant, intolerant, reactionary and angry; a boil fit to burst. It turns out my fears were well-founded and I am now in a country I no longer relate to or want to stay in.

I have studied and read many books, and watched many films, about countries that reached a tipping point. The journey from that initial point of falling off the edge until eventually arriving on steady ground has never been smooth and has often been catastrophic. I want to believe that my country will weather the storm and come out the better for it. Then I see the likely figureheads at the helm and I despair.

For those who voted Leave: I sincerely hope you're right. I genuinely want you to be correct in your assertions that our country will be better off outside of the EU, that it won't all collapse around our ears, that the far-right will not see a resurgence in power across Europe because of this, that my non-British/non-white friends will be fine. But I fear that you have been sold down the river with the rest of us by men more interested in their own ambitions than what's in the interest of the citizens not just of the UK but of the whole world. Time will tell.

For those who voted Remain: I feel your pain, your worry, that constant sick feeling in the pit of your gut. I feel the urge to scream "What have you done!" to 52% of the voters and to hope that they suffer as a result. But throughout the campaign the thing I noticed amongst all my fellow Remainers was a patience and tolerance for opposing views. Not across the board (there are bad nuts in every squirrel hoard) but generally we were the ones keeping calm heads and using facts and reason to make our point. That's likely why we lost. I will stay on that course now and say no to hate. Jo Cox did not die for us to succumb to those baser emotions. And in her memory I will soldier on, while carefully considering my own options.

Peace to you all.

Rejecting Hate

There are times when it's hard to hold to hope, to see the "silver-lining". On a personal front I was in Scotland on Monday for the funeral of my aunt. Next week I'll be at a funeral for a friend of my parents, whose children are like my surrogate siblings. It is feeling very much like the adults I grew up with, those giants who led the way, are one by one vanishing from my life. This is a normal and expected stage in life, but no easier for it.

Then there's current events. The horrendous slaughter of LGBTQ people in Orlando, just having normal Saturday night fun. The rise of Drumph and his vile rhetoric. The increasingly vicious and divided EU Referendum campaign here in the United Kingdom. And then, like some hideous blood smeared cherry on this cake of hate, MP Jo Cox assassinated in the street, just outside her surgery in Birstall.

We truly are living in dark times. The war in Syria, the rise of the perverted ISIS, the ongoing Russian occupation of Crimea... My history studies specialised in Nazi Germany and the Cold War. It's hard not to see the horrifying echoes.

Finding positives at times like this is a challenge. Yet we must. When my father died it seemed like there would be no light again. But one person after another, through a kind word or a gesture of compassion, showed me there is always hope. There is always goodness and decency.

I reject despair. I reject hate. There are still wonderful people in this world of ours and I believe we can all overcome the shadows around us. Because we are all one human family; we may fight, we may argue but ultimately we will come together in trying times. Or, as MP Cox said herself;

"While we celebrate our diversity, what surprises me time and time again as I travel around the constituency is that we are far more united and have far more in common with each other than things that divide us."

RIP Jo Cox

Hash Tag Am Writing

I am very much #amwriting, as the twitterverse would put it, but I realise it's been a while since I wrote about my writing. So the latest developments are:

• I completed a new horror/fantasy short story called "The Serpent's Psyche". It went out on submission last week but was declined by the market I sent it to. Then I read it again and thought "Jesus, no wonder - this sucks." If even I can't believe in my own story then how can I expect someone else to? So it's back to the wordshop for a new draft.
• A new science fiction short story is in the works. It is in very early draft stage but the lessons from "The Serpent's Psyche" will hopefully make this a smoother writing process (Tip: try to create a name for your story before you get to the final draft, kids - it's amazing how much the title can change the whole damn thing). And no, this particular science fiction story does not have a name... yet!
• I re-read my previously published short story, "A Fair Price" and was pleased to find it ain't half bad. Plans are afoot to get it turned into a very short eBook...

I'm pleased with the progress I've made this year after defining goals and tracking myself against them. It all sounds very work-like but I promise it's been a lot of fun. I have rediscovered though how hellish the editing process is; to that end I bought myself "Self-Editing for Fiction Writers". It is amazing and has already helped with the rewrite process for "The Serpent's Psyche". Highly recommended if you too are struggling in a mire of words that don't seem to be any good or doing what you want them to.

Here's to further flowing narratives and engaging dialogues - hopefully my future bit of writing news will be even more exciting.

Kindle Instant Preview

Another post about Amazon - you'd think they're paying me or something... This time the news that a new widget has been launched in the US that allows a website to link to a Kindle book and offer a "Preview" option. It will allow a blogger to show an image of the book they're reviewing, for example, and then the reader of that post can press Preview to read the sample of that book, right there in the browser. And best of all for the website owner, via Amazon Associates they'll earn revenue on sales generated via that widget, with an option to buy the book at the end of the sample or to see the detail page on Amazon.

For more details check out the full story on BookMachine, which also demonstrates the widget in action. I'm also curious to see it on a mobile device and not just a computer. One thing a lot of bloggers and website owners miss is mobile-optimising their site (myself included) so I wonder how good it looks on a small screen. But overall it sounds like a great way to promote a book you like and maybe earn a little cash yourself.

Whispersync Will Change Your (Book) Life

Obviously I’m a massive reader but last year I really struggled to get through many books. Instead I was watching TV shows on my commute and, as it turns out, that’s the only time I really have for reading. So I set myself a goal of reading more books this year and one of the things I’m using to achieve it is audiobooks.

The only time I’ve used audiobooks in the past was when I was a kid and I listened to Roald Dahl stories on cassette during long car journeys. I remember loving the atmosphere and getting to hear the characters was amazing to my young mind. It also meant I could get on with other important things at the same time, like playing Sonic the Hedgehog on my GameGear.

5 Ideas to Be Inspired Every Day

Inspiration has not always been my friend. There have been times when it’s been the notable absence at the table and other times it’s been the unwelcome guest that just won’t shut up. That being said, I prefer the latter, as I find the day to day grind can get me down if I don’t have any wild ideas running through my mind. And they don’t always translate into fantastical ideas for stories but can include a new approach to a project at work, or a solution to a life problem I’ve been wrestling with unsuccessfully; inspiration is for everybody, not just creatives! But getting inspired is not a guarantee and can easily be drowned out by more immediate concerns. So here’s my list of things I’ve found that help to keep those crazy ideas flowing;

Look After Yourself

I can’t count the number of times I’ve been stressed, depressed or otherwise so miserable that all ideas dry up and I end up comatose in front of a monotonous TV show (normally involving property). It’s so easy to fall into a negative cycle of not feeling inspired, being unhappy and that in turn leading to yet more struggles to be inspired. If you ever feel like this, then stop. Stop judging yourself, stop pressuring yourself and stop finding yourself wanting. Put creative work on hold and simply do something you enjoy. Easier said than done but it’s worth trying. Also, if you think you may be in a depressive cycle then the best thing you can do is what feels right for you. Everyone says you should talk to someone about it but if you’d prefer to stick forks in your eyes than I recommend Hyperbole and a Half: it’s an online blog from a few years ago and it genuinely helped me when I was in a really low mental state. The writer’s posts about depression rang a bell and helped me through and to see the funny/ridiculous side of the situation. Seriously, go buy her book; it’s awesome.

Always Be On The Lookout

Assuming you are in a reasonable mental state one of the biggest reasons you may be lacking inspiration is you’re just not seeing your environment anymore. We get so used to the lives we lead it can be easy to miss those little moments on the walk to work or on public transport that could give you your next great idea. Now, I’m not advocating eavesdropping on other people’s conversations but… actually, that’s exactly what I’m recommending. Especially for any writers out there who have to tackle dialogue; picking up the natural cadence of how others speak, their vernacular and even the content of their conversations will really help the juices flow when you want to make sure your characters don’t all sound like carbon copies of yourself.

Clean and Tidy Your Spaces

This is a pot-kettle-black thing to include because I’m rubbish at keeping my spaces tidy (at this moment I’m surrounded by a pile of notebooks and paper to my left, unopened mail to my right and receipts a plenty in front of my keyboard). But tidying your work space can really help the ideas to bloom, especially when you replace the clutter with items that you find beautiful, interesting or full of memories. And who doesn’t like a clean desk - no matter how short-lived.

Read More, Watch More and Learn

Lacking ideas of your own? Maybe you need to recharge your ideas battery. And there’s no better way to do that than to read, watch or listen to things that you didn’t create. Go pick up that book that’s been sitting at the top of your to-read pile for months and give yourself an hour or two in the week to work your way through it. Fit in an episode of that TV show you’re obsessed with, or that podcast you just can’t get out of your head. But rather than just absorb and move on, try writing out what it is you love about the thing. What do you hate about it? What would you do differently? Just analysing the mediums we consume can really help us see our way to new ideas of our own.

Make Time

All of this takes time, as any endeavour does. It needn’t take a lot of time but it needs to be scheduled into your day. Think about it; when the laundry needs done, you make time to do it. When you need to fill your empty cupboards you make the time to go to the store and buy stuff. Inspiration isn’t a chore but start treating it like one - at first you’ll struggle to come up with anything but as your brain gets in the habit of thinking a certain way, at a set time each day, the ideas will come and will even start to arrive outside of your designated “inspire me” time. Which leads to...

Keep a Notebook With You At All Times

We’ve all heard it, multiple times, but seriously - get a notebook or an app on your phone where you can write your ideas down no matter where you are or what you’re doing. I use Evernote as it syncs automatically, meaning I have access to all my crazy ideas and thoughts on my phone, my laptop and my main computer. I used to use an actual physical notebook but found it was tricky to pull the thing out my bag and surreptitiously write down my thoughts sitting in a pub with my friends or in the middle of meetings. Using my phone I just come off as being rude and uncultured rather than a special kind of crazy.

Hopefully this little list has given you some starters to work on but I’m always on the look out for more inspiration ideas. What techniques have you used to stay inspired?

Finding Balance

A very strange thing has been happening these last few months. Something that I can honestly say has never happened before; my day job and life no longer feel like two distinct, separate entities. I have, somehow, created a congruity between the two that has always eluded me.

For as long as I can remember I've always felt a division between what I do for work and my "real" life. In fact even school felt the same way, with time spent in the classroom distinct and separate from my life. That stopped for a time when I was at University but started up again as soon as I started working for a living. Every hour spent at work was an hour deprived from me, an hour where I couldn't focus on my "real" life, preventing me from the things I really wanted. It was hard and ultimately resulted in working for the weekend, for the time you do have to yourself and on your own terms.

I suspect a lot of, even most, people live like this. It's normal for there to be a distinction between "what you do" and "what you want to be". Or at least, it was normal for me - until now.

I've been doing a lot of self-inspection this year, really working out what I want from my day job, where I want it to go. That in turn led me to do the same with my own writing. And I recognised that the lack of progress in both of these zones of my life was down to me not doing two things:

    a) Planning (realistically)
    b) Pushing (myself and others to get things in motion)

So in March I got myself a Passion Planner. I'd learned about them over a year previously but had done nothing about it, putting it off and saying to myself I didn't really need something like that. I was wrong - my Passion Planner forced me to re-assess what I really wanted (something I'd done before a few years ago but hadn't moved forward with) and forced me to see what I was going to have to prioritise and what I'd have to let go of. But I did something I don't think I'd have done in earlier years; I included my day job in my Passion Planner. Suddenly I could see how my day job could help me get the skills I needed for my writing goals and how the writing could in turn help me in my day job. Suddenly the two things were not in competition, they were allies that were going to get me where I wanted to be.

I don't know if this works for everyone. Some day jobs are likely too monotonous or restrictive to offer much in the way of personal development. But I've definitely had a revelation and it's resulted in me prioritising my fiction writing by doing it before work three times a week and setting up a working backward plan for my writing projects (something I have to do in my day job as standard). It also made me include my fitness goals into my life so now I visit the gym in the morning twice a week and have a once a week session with a Personal Trainer (who happens to be my boyfriend, but still). It requires some sacrifices, like getting up earlier, staying at work later, but so far it seems to be working. But the most important part, to me, is that I no longer feel like I'm being pulled in different directions, or being forced to make a choice I don't want to make. And maybe, just maybe, this will be the year I can look back and say "this is when it started" when I look back at a writing career. Dreams are where achievements start after all.

The Wait Continues

I'm not sure I'm okay. I mean, it's just so frustrating and disappointing, two emotions I do not do well. I'll grin and bear it, like always, but I... just... don't know. I don't know how much more of this I can take.

Winds of Winter will not be coming out before March.

In fact it may not be coming out for some time, as according to Mr. Martin there is "a lot still left to write. I am months away still... and that's if the writing goes well." 

I sometimes wish I hadn't started reading the damned books and had started with the TV show instead. Especially as at this point I'm going to be as clueless as everyone else come Season 6 in April, which will no doubt have spoilers for the books. Then again shoulda, coulda, woulda isn't my style so I'll go into the next season hoping they continue the trend of diverging massively from the books. And where they cross, well, at least it means I get to find out what happens. Because the more Winds of Winter is delayed (and the consequential delay to the one after it, A Dream of Spring) the more I fear a Mervyn Peak situation. If that were to happen I'm not sure how I'd handle it - to say I'm invested in The Song of Ice and Fire would be... an understatement. It just doesn't bear thinking about.

Star Wars, Pressure and Thoughts

Today has been a good day - I got to see Star Wars: A Force Awakens and despite my massive misgivings about the continuation of the saga I loved it. Can't claim it's perfect but it comes close enough for me. Fear not - no spoilers here. But if you haven't seen it and you loved A New Hope, you have to watch this one; you're going to love it.

I'm in the process of clearing out the many emails I have as I'm terrible at keeping up with them. This has resulted in a present I was buying not being sent, as apparently I had an invoice sent to me a week ago which I didn't see. Why businesses can't just take the money when I've given them my Paypal details I don't know, but here we are; one pleading email of "please charge me again, I promise I'll pay this time" and now waiting for a response. Fingers and toes are crossed.

One email that got my attention was from Goodreads, "Your year in books". It listed how many books I've read, how many I challenged myself to read, how many I added to my "To Read" pile... essentially a lot of numbers that told me I've not been particularly productive this year. That got me to thinking, Why do we put this pressure on ourselves?  It makes sense for companies to bombard us with messages and what better way to prompt someone to interact with their product then setting goals, otherwise known as "gamification". But why do we so willingly play? In my case I think it's a fear of missing out, of not doing enough in my life and just turning into a couch potato mindlessly consuming and never creating. We see so many inspirational stories of people who turned their life around through hard work and dedication, so many examples of how good it could be if we only put a bit of effort in. In reality though "effort" can often translate into burning out or being unhappy. Spending hours on something that you don't really enjoy all in the hope of a pay off at the end, whether that's setting up a small business, or trying to read your way through a Colossus sized pile of books.

This is not me saying it's not worth it; it is. Of equal importance though is your sanity - I've been much happier since I put the brakes on my writing and instead focused on doing little things one at a time or one big thing over a period of time, rather than everything plus day job, plus reading, plus games, plus keeping up with TV shows... There's only so much the brain can cope with. So this year coming will be my year of focus on only one thing at a time, with no guilt if I change my focus to relax or to learn or to grow in other ways. Because while there are many paths to success, you can't walk all of them at once. Sometimes you've just got to stick to the one your own and not worry about what you might be missing.

Happy Winter Solstice!

USA Bound

Work are sending me off to Seattle for the week - I finally get to see the mothership. Sunday has been spent fighting with my hand luggage to make sure it's within the measly 10kg the airline allows. Turns out my work laptop and charger weigh half of that so I can safely say I did not enjoy this game of 4D Tetris. Somehow it all came together and I'm now in the "what have I forgotten" phase.

I've never had a chance to go to the original head office until now. We're kind of big on the whole "frugality" thing and so far I've not had a good reason to go. But at last I get to see where it all began. I also get to see the city I heard about growing up watching Frasier. Though I can't promise I'll partake of the (in)famous coffee - maybe a hot chocolate instead.

The result of my minimalist packing has also been getting some apps on my phone to make blogging and writing easier. This post is entirely written on my iPhone - an experiment to see if I can get more writing practise by removing the need for a computer of any kind. I predict there may be an exponential rise in typos... But it should make it easier to write updates and I'm even going to give writing stories a go, though the thumb typing will either give me arthritis or drive me crazy. Only time will tell. The main point is that I'm trying to stop letting little things get in the way of dreams - it's so easy for mini excuses to pile up and blockade progress. So instead I'm going to remove those little problems one at a time, starting with the whole "but I don't have a laptop to write on" or "my laptop's too heavy to take everywhere". 

Now I just have to hope I get time away from work to actually do the thumb typing. No doubt the jet lag will help with that...

Steering the Craft - The Sound of Your Writing

This is the first in my exercises for Steering the Craft. It was actually really enjoyable, an opportunity to play with language in a way I normally forget to do when I'm writing. What you can discover just by not worrying about the final result is remarkable. There's still progress to make, but I'm pretty pleased with the results. Hopefully you'll enjoy them too, and I highly recommend giving these exercises a go yourself: the discovery alone will make it worth it.


Exercise One: Being Gorgeous

"Part One: Write a paragraph to a page of narrative that's meant to be read aloud. Use onomatopoeia, alliteration, repetition, rhythmic effects, made-up words or names, dialect - any kinds of sound effect you like - but NOT rhyme or meter."

When the day is swallowed by the sneaking dark and shadows stretch their arms to share their cloak, that's when the Ingrilin come out. No one sees them, that's their gift, their curse, but they see all. The long fingers slide over the ground ahead, scraping away the soil in the days when forests ruled the land. Now they simply slither over the concrete, their sleekit forms sliding over the tacky tarmac, past the cars careening to their destinations. Around the people bobbing along under their umbrellas, oblivious to the pitch black shadows by their feet.
Ingrilin do not know wherefor they go, only that they must. Each night they depart, only to be concealed in their lairs by the time the first rays of the sun kiss the ground. No one knows what they do in the between time, but even people in the enlightened age shiver and hurry past the black alley, avoid the street where the lamps are off. The shadow, with its languorous stretch across the uneven paving stones, is stepped over quickly. The mind remembers, even if the person does not.
What of those who forget completely? Those who step off the luminous path and into the unlit nook? Mostly, they are safe to trot away, continue their life of oblivion. But some are not so fortunate. And the Ingrilin are always waiting.

"Part Two: In a paragraph or so, describe an action, or a person feeling strong emotion - joy, fear, grief. Try to make the rhythm and movement of the sentences embody or represent the physical reality you're writing about."

There are some who enjoy speaking in public. Those people are mad. Most feel their insides quiver, their tongue retreat to their throat, as though to escape via the oesophagus. Sweat breaks out in all the worst places, and before they know it their nails are nibbled and turned to stubs. The notes so carefully taken are made damp, crushed under the pressure of what's to come. All this before the performance itself when the many eyes stare, expectant.
The voice croaks, the words all trying to beat the others to be heard. The tumbling oratory is matched by the rolling gut, just waiting for it to be over. The many eyes glaze, lost to inner thoughts. But still the vernacular somersaults must go on until, by a miracle of time and space, the notes are read, the words are said. The polite applause releases the speaker to their freedom. As they sit, a rush of comfort settles. And they hope next time will be easier.

Forcing the Muse

Three weeks since returning from my holiday, I'm making myself post something as it's safe to say the writing bug has not been with me lately. It's not that I don't want to write but I'm finding the words are stuck; I need a plumber to remove the blockage with one of those amusingly shaped plungers. Though I have just realised how much I like the word "plunger".

To combat the lack of words I've decided I need to approach this like I do going to the gym; make myself do it at set times, on set days, no matter how I feel. When exercise is the activity this often leads to a lot of internal whinging and negotiation with my inner self; bargains are proposed and regrettably rejected. Wails of "but I can't" are met with "but you must". So far I haven't had a routine for the writing to allow this fun dialogue to happen in my head, but here we are. Now I have two activities in which to explore the depths of my insanity.

I tried to do a bit of writing on holiday but was never that optimistic it would lead to much. In Magaluf there are lots of distractions of the sun, pool, drinks and dancing variety. And as it turned out food poisoning, when me and my man made the mistake of having the hotel's freshly cooked omelettes. I may never eat an omelette again. Couple with a decided lack of sun, grumpy neighbours, and a gym that was more a death trap then a work out area, it wasn't the smoothest of holidays, but it was still fun.

Another aid to writing I'm trying is working my way through Ursula K. Le Guin's "Steering the Craft - A 21st-Century Guide to Sailing the Sea of Story". It's a short book on writing, with exercises to do at the end of each chapter, and I plan to post my attempts here. Alongside this I've set out my writing goals for the next three months, broken down into the actual pieces I want to have finished in that time and what should be in progress. Waiting for inspiration just isn't working, so a checklist will have to do. I'm even getting up earlier with the express purpose of writing something everyday, before I do anything else. I really like my sleep, so this is a significant step for me.

Hopefully all of this will mean more words on the page, and more posts on this ol' blog. And maybe, just maybe, some stories to show for it all.

Rachel Dolezal: Is Identity Skin Deep?

Identity. It isn't what it used to be. Religion, gender, sexuality, all have seen the barriers that once existed come crashing down, leading to a more fluid notion of where one group ends and another begins. The most recent challenger is now race, brought to the fore by the revelations around rights activist Rachel Dolezal. This has prompted a furore in the media and online about whether or not she is black and whether you can change your racial identity through desire alone.

Others have written at length about the Rachel Dolezal case but few are diving into the issue of identity and what it means in the 21st century. Self-identity has and will always be important to human beings: it's who we are, what we like, even why we are. Globalisation has massively affected our identity concepts; it would be hard to identify with a demographic if you didn't know anything about them or even if they existed. In fact one of the greatest strengths of a connected world, with open communication available to all, is the opportunity to learn about other people and their identity. But it has it's pitfalls; it's a thin line between self-identity and appropriation.

Reboots, Remakes and Nostalgia

Summer blockbusters this year seem to all be about nostalgia. First there was "Mad Max: Fury Road", bringing the road warrior back to the big screen for the first time since 1985. Then we had "Jurassic World", to enormous blockbuster success. Now we have "Terminator: Genisys", living up to the eternal promise of 'I'll be back'. Like a lot of people my age (let's say, thirty-ish) I remember the original films from the first time around (except for Mad Max, which I watched in the Nineties) and have a lot of warm and fuzzy feelings about them. I was too young to see Terminator until about a decade after its release but I watched T:2 when it came out on VHS and absolutely loved it. Of the three franchises, it was Jurassic Park that held a very special place in my heart; I saw it four times in the cinema when it came out in 1993 and loved every minute of it.

I'll admit, I'm still a little sad that movies aren't all that original anymore and rely on glories of the past to get bums on seats. If it's not superhero movies getting a reboot every two years, it's sequels to franchises that have been out of the limelight for two decades. Saying that, I have been thoroughly enjoying the current wave of sequels. Watching the latest Terminator addition got me thinking about this; I should probably hate all these films, for not living up to my memories of their founders, for trying to ruthlessly cash-in on established franchises with a strong fan-base. But I don't. All have been entertaining, all have made going to the cinema something I wanted to do (it's rare for any film to make me want to spend the cash for the big screen anymore) and most of all, I've felt that all have respected their origins. Some have done it better than others but none have made me feel like they're shitting all over their roots. In fact one of the things I like best about Terminator: Genisys is that it removes films 3 and 4 entirely from the timeline, two films that did not respect the original at all. Still hate the title though.

No erotica before ten - at least in Germany

Something I find endlessly fascinating are the differences between cultures and countries on this fair planet of ours; the varieties in aesthetics, practices and outlooks is a great reminder to take nothing for granted. However, sometimes you're left boggled by decisions made in parts of the world.

Germany have now introduced a law that prohibits ebooks aimed at adults to be sold before 10 PM and after 6 AM, local time. The German Publishers & Booksellers Association has been told by the Youth Protection Authority that all ebooks are now subject to the same controls that have existed for print media since 2002, which limits the sale of hardcovers, paperbacks, magazines, and graphic novels to minors when those material are clearly aimed at adults. From now on all publishing houses and self-publishers will need to fill in a new field in the metadata calling out if the content is for an adult audience.

The oddness of this decision is mitigated by the fact that it may not in fact be enforced; Germany have a number of rules around what can and can't be sold or shown but these aren't always followed. With the fine being €500,000 for breaking the law though it will be surprising if new adult sections don't start popping up in online book stores across Germany.

From my time in the DVD world, I know that similar rules exist for rated 18 and up movies and TV, to the point where even buying them abroad can result in them being confiscated by customs until you prove your age (though it's a rare occurrence). But books are an odd medium to put these kind of age limits on; reading isn't as easy as sitting back and watching a movie, or playing a video game. Britain doesn't currently (and hopefully never will) have an age rating on books. Graphic novels are also not rated, though there may be an argument for that given they're much more of a visual medium then books. I'm not sure where I stand on this; I read a lot of non-age appropriate books and comics growing up, but then again my mum bought those for me after checking them... 

Is it okay to sell a copy of Fifty Shades of Grey to an eight-year-old, without a guardian present? Do we control the distribution of books by a person's age? And why does the idea of  that make a shiver go down my spine? Worth puzzling over, but I suspect there are no easy answers; and in the meantime each culture will do what works (or seems to) for them. See, I told you cultural variety is interesting.

Tanith Lee - Strange, Magical and Irreplaceable

It was a shock to hear that Tanith Lee died Sunday 24th May at the age of 67. To say she's influenced my reading and writing habits would be a massive understatement. It was her book, The Birthgrave, that was the very first fantasy novel I ever read that was intended for adults. I was eleven and in desperate need of MORE STORIES, particularly anything with a girl as the main character and having magical adventures. There weren't a lot of those kind of books when I was a kid in the early Nineties so my mum gave me a book with a semi-naked woman on the cover:

Written entirely in first-person, it tells the story of a woman who wakes up in a cavern under a volcano that is erupting. Barely escaping with her life she's rescued by some locals, who worship her as a god. Oh, and did I mention she takes one look at herself in some water and is confronted with a hideous deformed visage, so she covers her face for the rest of the book? That happens too. I adored the story, the characters and the epic yet personal themes. I read my way through it and the two follow ups in a matter of weeks. Then promptly read them again. From that point on I became a firm fantasy and science-fiction fan for life.

Lee's books are a wonderful mixture of high-fantasy, urban fantasy, horror and magic; with a large dose of weirdness. And through all of her stories was the ever present female point of view. Her stories were genuinely unique, beautifully written but so strange at times they could be hard to get into. With more than 90 books to her name I haven't come close to reading them all but to honour this great writer, who was sadly much under appreciated in her lifetime, I've listed below some of her works I have read and would highly recommend for all speculative fiction fans. Her high-fantasy books always reminded me of the Conan worlds, but with women as the focus, and there's a strong current of horror running through most of her stories. Her science fiction stories by comparison brought unusual takes on sci-fi tropes to create truly unique stories that I haven't yet found from other writers.

Black Unicorn

Sabella

Silver Metal Lover

When the Lights Go Out

The Castle of Dark

Vivia

I'm genuinely saddened that there will be no new Tanith Lee stories ever again, so will be making the effort to read those books of hers I haven't got to yet. For a personal and touching post about the loss of this great writer to the world, I highly recommend this post from her editor and friend.

And in the words of Tanith Lee herself: 

"Though we come and go, and pass into the shadows, where we leave behind us stories told -- on paper, on the wings of butterflies, on the wind, on the hearts of others -- there we are remembered, there we work magic and great change -- passing on the fire like a torch -- forever and forever. Till the sky falls, and all things are flawless and need no words at all."